I have a neighbor who is also my kumpadre, one of his children is my inaanak. He is a stay-at-home dad and his wife is currently working as a top executive of a prestigious manufacturing company. His wife is the bread winner and my kumpadre is in-charge of taking care of their children. I am very close to their family in-fact, me and his family has this monthly tradition of spending lunch together every last Sunday of the month. My wife is also very close to his wife and they even call each other as kumare even if they are not. My problem is, my kumpadre is having an affair with one of our neighbor - who is also married. It was one Tuesday afternoon, I was leave from work, when I decided to drop by my kumpadre's house. When I was about enter their gate, I saw my kumpadre and our neighbor passionately kissing in a hidden portion of their garage. I did not bother them and I left secretly and hoping they did not noticed me.
My kumpadre and I shared lots of personal secrets though I am not expecting that he will tell me everything including his current sexual affair with this neighbor of ours. I am just surprised that my kumpadre will go into that kind of activity for I have known him as a faithful husband and a loving father. I consider him as my best-friend and I don't want him to be involved in such affair for it will result to an eventual destruction of his relationship with his wife and his children. I don't know if I will talk to him about this or I will just pretend that I don't know anything. Please give me an advice.
This is our reply.
For me, a true friend is not afraid to criticize you or point out your flaws. If you are a true friend to your kumpadre, you should be honest enough to tell him what you saw that Tuesday afternoon. If your kumpadre will admit to you that he is indeed having an affair with your neighbor, do not be afraid to tell him your fear of loosing his marriage and trust of his children if he will continue with his elicit affair. A friend has a responsibility to look after the welfare his friend, if you think your kumpadre's affair with your neighbor will put him in a bad state, you should be sincere enough to help him out of that relationship. If your kumpadre will not follow your advice despite your effort to convince him to move out of that immoral relationship, you are free of guilt if situation goes bad... because as far as you know, you did your part as his friend.
I also believe that your role should be limited to your kumpadre only. I don't advise you to go straight to his wife to divulge what you know. Let your kumpadre face the music and let destiny decide whether he will be forgiven or will be disowned by his wife. Whatever will be his fate with his family, you should continue to be his friend and never abandon him if ever his wife decides to leave him because of his infidelity.
A true friend accepts who you are, but also helps you become who you should be.